The Power of A Shower

I think that a nice hot shower is one thing I will never, ever take for granted. This morning, as the hot water covered me, I thought about the month and a half, when I washed and rinsed my hair, along with my one white summer linen sleeveless dress, my underclothes, and one of two pairs of socks every night, with only two bottles water, potable or not. I had a system. When Hurricane Katrina hit the Mississippi Gulf Coast on August 29th, 2005, I had no earthly idea of what was going to happen in any of the next few moments of my life for the next month and a half. For quite a few of them, I thought that the last of them were about to be just that. This led me to being “in the moment,’’ a lot! That is a strange but welcome gift from Katrina. Another was my gratitude list. When surrounded by loss and trauma on every level, I first did a status check over and over again. It is a survival technique for me. What grew out of it was a gratitude list. This became something I actively worked on. It became part of my standard operating system, and hot showers were in the top five at all times. It still is. Sometimes during the day, while I was working during that month and a half after Katrina, if I needed to rinse off the extreme funk from life or death, I would just walk into the front bay of Gulfport, Mississippi. I learned to keep soap and a small towel in my backpack...
HAS KATHY GRIFFIN JUST TANKED HER CAREER? THREE CHEERS FOR SQUATTY POTTY!

HAS KATHY GRIFFIN JUST TANKED HER CAREER? THREE CHEERS FOR SQUATTY POTTY!

Yesterday Comedian Kathy Griffin (@kathygriffin) posted a picture of President Trump’s decapitated and bloody head. She held his head in her raised hand like an ISIS terrorist, loud and proud in their defiance. It looked like the real thing. It was deeply disturbing, on several levels. What was her intent? I will share a rare thought regarding the Pop Culture experience because a noteworthy shift has happened. I have gotten so used to the behavior of the left toward our President, that this could have been so easy for me to pass by. That’s where I was wrong. I see our response to the vitriol around us like the story of the frog in the pot.  The water was so warm and comfortable that it cooked slowly as the heat was raised, and it became dinner. We have gotten so used to the nastiness towards President Trump that we may have been a bit numbed by it. Do our own issues with him, cloud our response to protect any POTUS? The response was very clear and somehow different than the responses to effigies of the president whether he was hanged, burned, or made into pinatas, to be whacked by children, or made into naked statues installed as art about town. Was this somehow different than all the other constant nasty, disgusting posts and threats from comedians and actors about his youngest child, his family, or himself? Did she break the law? Many would say, YES!  What does the Secret Service say? As strange as this is… a precedent seems to be developing from the experience with Kathy Griffin. Who knew? What...
Escaping the Echo Chamber

Escaping the Echo Chamber

Have you ever been called an insulting name, blocked, kicked off Facebook, or Twitter? Do you have a collection of choice insults that have been hurled at you? I do! Have you been “doxxed?” Doxxing occurs when a person is stalked on the internet and their identification is put in the public domain in order to put them in a position of weakness. It has happened to me; in fact, I have even had my life threatened.  Sometimes it hurts your feelings, scares you, or just chafes your behind. I have to say that I have developed a pretty thick skin. Now I usually end up laughing and sharing these posts with my posse, and as we cackle about it, however, I am quietly doing a perimeter check. People are purposely trying to rile folks up, and it’s working. It’s working because we continually choose to respond and act, instead of ignoring them. I have been developing a simple protocol for myself: I assess and respond either by my silence, or I carefully stay factual with my words. I ask myself three things: Is it true?  Is it kind?  Is it necessary? However, just because it is necessary, does not mean we need to be ugly about it.  I will say…there are those who are “triggered by my boundaries” and are abusive. I opt out of those conversations. That’s when I press” block.” At first, I thought that it was intense because of the upcoming election. However, the level of this intensity is still growing. Insults have begun to be artfully perpetrated with an extra sense of self-satisfaction. I am...
The Mother Within

The Mother Within

My prayer and want for you is to feel the love that is celebrated on this day. I hope for you to feel the support you want. My prayer is that you can speak your needs for the support not yet given. Enjoy receiving! If is just you today, and you are alone, maybe you can lean into the truth of your ability to give life and let go. Many birds have left the nest and are symbols of this rite of passage. Enjoy as they fly strong and free. I celebrate the spirit of creativity that God put inside you in order to be a mother whether you have birthed a child, chose a child, or just loved a child from afar. Whether, you are a Godmother, aunt, or family friend. Take a moment to see how you have touched peoples’ lives who aren’t even your birth children. I treasure the memory of these women in my history. There are as many kinds of relationships with our mothers or mother figures as there are relationships! I have been blessed to be surrounded by wonderful mothers who have taught me so much. I have two mothers. One, who is very much alive. Her vibrancy and charm tickle the fancy of many. My girlfriends love my mother. I have had no choice but to share her as my mother with many, many people. My Momma will always be a warrior leading the way…I am grateful that now she leads the way on her riding lawn mower safely in her yard. She went with, and stayed alongside her soldiers where ever they...
Full Confidence

Full Confidence

Like a name tattoo, when you have endorsed the importance of a person, using the words “full confidence,” you are essentially playing the first notes of the swan song of the relationship.  Many consider this the first notes of demise, especially within the Washington political scene. How many people do you know who have a lonely “leftover” tattoo of an eternity symbol on their ring finger, however, their ring and the person they were attached to is now gone?  Last week when I heard that President Trump had “full confidence” in Director James Comey, I began to hear what I thought was the softly playing death knell of a large ancient urban myth tolling in the background of his career, and I knew his days as Head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation were limited. It wasn’t long before I also heard the theme music from the Godfather, commingling with this week’s news and commentary. This specific song always plays when there is the scent of any kind of mendacity, lies, or betrayal. It matters not, to the editor of my internal playlist. This is not about WHO was betrayed…any betrayal will do. It just is, what it is, and I can smell it like a dead rat in the road. That’s just part of the charm my internal soundtrack editor. There was NO WAY James Comey did not feel it coming. Mr. Comey, you knew your days were numbered when you heard this praise. It’s a bit of a done deal when an American president proclaims they have “full confidence” in a person…or situation.  Again, this is common...
FINDING YOUR YES AND KNOWING YOUR NO

FINDING YOUR YES AND KNOWING YOUR NO

Clarity is a good thing. It isn’t always easy, joyful, fun or necessarily pleasant.  It can even be awful. When truth presents itself, and the facts are rough, tough and not pretty, it is still, no matter what, ALWAYS a good thing. Why is that? I learned this lesson very concretely one summer while on a road trip with my father.  “It’s the questions that you ask,”  he said, right out of the blue, after quite some miles of silence. He said it as casual as if he just picked up a cup of coffee and was about to drink it. He said it the way I wish you, could hear me say it, right now.  My dad was factual. My dad played me like a harp. I had no idea what he meant. I asked, “What questions?”  He knew I was going to ask that.  He said, “The questions that change the direction of your life with their answers. The questions that make you who are. It’s where you draw a line in the sand. You will learn who you are through your questions.” My mind was already spinning these words around like a rock tumbler.  Sometimes this tumbling of thoughts and feelings are just a big lump of uncomfortable, ain’t it great, hot stickiness. Other times it just quietly moves behind the scenes of my life. I look at what my tools are in my tool box, and I think part of it, is knowing what “yes” feels like and what “no” feels like. Not just in my mind but in my body as well. Some folks...